The Badass’s Prayer

I composed this little prayer sometime in late August 2012, a dark time when the light only filtered down to my strangled abyss every few days in the form of some blessing or other. I was drilling with the Trojan Marching Band on Cromwell Field, learning to chair, in a half-focused trance, when it came to me. I ran the idea through my head several times, oblivious to my surroundings, and when a break was called I immediately copied it onto my phone. That night I went home and transferred the message to the whiteboard Dad had bought me. Unknowingly, I used a permanent marker, and thus although I have tried to efface this composition many times in favor of more joyous tracts, it yet remains, a haunted relic of the past, a solemn admonition of endurance in the face of despair. I cannot say that I agree with it in entirety- it is certainly one of the least-well-balanced pieces I have written- but its general principle, that there is bad in good, by growth in hardship, remains locked in my conscience and judgment.

I choose Wolverine for the cover picture because I believe Wolverine to be the most badass of all contemporary movie characters.

God,

I do not ask

for rest,

for comfort,

for certainty,

for gain;

These are things

for the faint of heart

and the weak of faith.

I ask for work,

because work will make me better.

I ask for pain,

because pain will make me stronger.

I ask for uncertainty, 

because uncertainty will make me wiser.

I ask for loss,

because loss will make me realize

what is never lost,

what will never change,

what will never cease to matter.

I ask for LIFE, 

because I want to LIVE.

These are my requests.

Grant that I may bear them through, with, and in you.