‘A Trojan Horse’

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    January 2013
     
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    The sickness creeps beneath my skin, to play its vicious part
    A practice maladacious as a cunning, subtle art
    My brain decries the horrors, couns’ling me to never start
    But not before my veins are pierced, the pathway to my heart.
    Two times before my walls were breached by this infectious strain
    Each time the boiling of my blood quite paralyzed my brain
    And songs were sung, (though lies were they,) with beautiful refrain,
    “Hark mortal, follow us! For on our path, there is no pain!”
    These sirens sang “Align your steps with th’ beating of our drums!
    Hold down your head, lay back your arms, we grant it, pleasure comes!
    Surrender now to what you feel!” Their glory struck me dumb!
    And mindless, I continued ‘til the pleasure dulled me numb.
    But yet, my eyes were not plucked out; my feet were never bound.
    And neither were my hands tied up, my ears could still hear sound.
    It felt so real, it felt so right, a par’dise I had found!
    And so I thought, and so I KNEW, ‘til my ship ran aground.
    And thus, this curse doth operate; it does not kill, for shame.
    Instead it maketh man a corpse; a slave in all but name.
    The carefree and the prudent are immune in their domain;
    But the masses of the passionate are, every one, fair game.
    The ghoul that hijacks all men’s minds has caught me twice before;
    The first time, being stupid, I just let it through my doors.
    My inn’cent inexperience, from then, would be no more,
    And in the flames, I felt what passion truly has in store.
    I pledged a pledge of vigilance- “To Thine own self, be true!”
    I used the lessons I had learned, the wisdom I thought I knew
    And soon enough, I found that wisdom certain to be true
    For yet again, the demon found-me, and charged my soul straight through.
    My heart had cried, my brain had sighed, I thought, the final time-
    For from now on, against myself, I’d ne’er commit this crime!
    I’d WATCH myself, I’d FORCE myself, I’d KEEP myself in line!
    But ‘gainst the righteous thinkers do the bells of judgment chime.
    A month passed by, then two and three, and never did it show.
    Temptations floated by, as must temptations float by so.
    The oarsmen in my spirit kept a steady, growing row;
    CONTENT! I found, CONTENT! I knew! CONTENT I wish to know!
    But as the pretty diamond scratches all that it dares touch,
    And too little is as much a curse as-its counterpart, too much,
    And the world is more interesting than it seems- this-we-know, then such
    There’s more to things than meets the eye, or sound, or taste, or touch.
    So in my moment-of-triumph, did the devil dare sneak in;
    And bomb the nerves with passion, and set glistens on the skin;
    And rack the spine with chills and aches, and complicate the brain,
    And do his best to send to me a gift-wrapped box of pain.
    How could the world-moving force, which raised me up from birth,
    And was a source of joyous ties, a harbinger of mirth
    Become a Trojan Horse when shared with those without my blood;
    And pun’sh my brain, and rack my heart, and spray my soul with mud?
    What of our Universe, when such a contradiction reigns?
    The pleasure, yet the torture; and the joys, and yet the pains?
    Is balance ever real? And what of losses, and of gains?
    What of the human person- and his organs, heart, and brains?
    Perhaps I wail before my time; I cert’nly am not wise.
    I hear through five-times muffled ears, I see through shaded eyes
    Experience for me is quite a thing of puny size
    And thus my musings-can only be-what self-righteous thought-may surmise.
    I therefore take my sword and now march blindly forward yet!
    My God in Heaven runs this world, his plans already set!
    Each painful fall’s a lesson which I never must forget!
    And what-of-this-new development? The same old thing, I’ll bet!
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